Now I consider myself a total expert in this area! Not just because I’ve done a load of research into this area, but mainly because I have a super-strong-willed daughter who will not just DO something when you ask. No, that would be too simple…. :-)
But I’ve found the way to get her to co-operate with what I need her to do (most of the time!). So here are the tactics that really work.
What is it with the hitting?! If your child is anything like mine, he or she sometimes gets into an out-of-control hitting frenzy. It could be only occasional, or maybe it’s turned into a real phase.
Actually this is very common – and it’s completely normal behaviour for toddlers and preschool kids (and even school-age kids).
So why is the hitting happening? And what can we do about it.
I know I'm sounding controversial with this week's blog title! But I'm not actually being that extreme - locking your child in the laundry is truly one of the discipline recommendations of one of the most widely accepted parenting approaches in Australia and overseas.
While there are many good things about this program, I want to take issue with this recommendation.
Why do they tell parents to lock their kids in the laundry?
When we were visiting family friends recently: 5yo Johnny says: “I don’t want the pink plate, I want the green one. Gemma took my green plate!“ Tears, screeching and then hits his sister Gemma.
It’s amazing how little things can so upset a young child, isn’t it?!
So what’s happening – why do kids react like this? What's actually going on in their brains?!
Has your child ever gone through a difficult stage - where they have become angry, aggressive, and totally unreasonable for weeks on end..? These phases are usually due to a big life change or a developmental leap that is stressing your child's emotional and physical system.
Parenting is hard enough, so why do we have to deal with these difficult stages and what can we do about it?
Letting your child cry at the right times can actually be good for them. What’s more, trying to stop your child from crying could actually be doing them more harm than good.
But there are two key ingredients that mark the difference between crying that’s helpful for their happiness versus potentially damaging: (1) Your connection with them and (2) Your empathy. This blog will give you a step by step process for how to ensure you get these key ingredients right.
Many of us were taught as kids that it was not okay to feel strong emotions - high excitement, anger, sadness, fear were all frowned upon. Settle down, be quiet, pull yourself together, we were told. But the problem with that is we learnt to bottle up our emotions or try to get rid of them - resulting in pent up frustration, anxiety, depression or feeling totally disconnected from others.
We need to teach our kids a better way to handle emotions.
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